The Recovery... From the farthest corner of hell

December 7th, 2011 will always be the absolute most important and most meaningful day of my life... the day i met my son, the day we became a family, and the day my life officially became about more than just me and my needs! Carter has been the biggest blessing in our lives from not only our son but to our parents beautiful grand baby.. It was all so blissful for the first two days. It was all that i expected from a pregnancy, labor, and delivery! Me and justin really enjoyed the food and the ability to order as much food as we could handle! I got ridiculously addicted to the southwest breakfast burrito that i ordered it for almost every meal of the day as well as fruit plates and cranberry juice! I was loving nursing my son, but it was ALWAYS thirsty! it was unreal.. i cannot even describe the sheer thirst you have when your breast feeding!! It was all going so well that to all that were a part of the whole ordeal thought i was a blessed women and birthing babies was a natural process for me.... we all spoke WAY too soon!!!

On Friday December 9th, 2011.. everything that seemed ideal went the complete opposite way! We were an hour away from being discharged and i had just met with the lactation consultant to finalize all the learning i had done in the past two days in the hospital. I felt a little off and my groin was unreal tight, but to my knowledge at the time it was just normal recovery stuff... I stood up to use the bathroom before waking up justin to get carter changed and ready to go when my legs almost gave out. It felt like knives were being stabbed into my left groin and my legs werent working right. i slowly made it into the bathroom and took deep breathes through the pain but getting back into bed was sooooooooooooo horrible i started to actually cry and jus woke up wondering what the heck was going on! i couldnt explain it to the nurses or doctors when they were asking what i thought was going on. it got worse and worse throughout the day and it really got scary when i couldnt use my legs at all to move in and out of bed or to the bathroom. That night they moved us to a bigger room in hopes to help with all the madness. Through that weekend it got worse and worse.. my lady parts were so swollen and my ligaments hurt so badly that even talking was painful. My parents were so upset that they didnt have any idea what was going to happen. The doctor that was seeing me was an on call doctor... of course my doctor had to leave the country while all of this was going on! throughout the weekend the on call doctor did absolutely nothing and just fed me pain pills to get me by until my real doctor got back.

Saturday night around 9 pm my parents, jus, and his mom were all so sick of nothing being done that they had to say something! a very sweet nurse came into check my vitals for the first time on her shift and my parents finally unloaded all of their worries, expectations, and fears on this women! i dont actually remember this portion of the weekend due to the heavy morphine injections i was getting through my iv, but ive been told many times this is how it all went. i had an ultrasound of my pelvic region and there was a pocket of fluid that was found but my on call doctor wouldnt call in a ct scan or anything to pursue it any further! THAT WASNT OK!!!! Heather the sweet nurse came back into the room and informed my parents that she was able to get the ct scan scheduled and id be going in less than 5 minutes! WHAT A RELIEF, SOMEONE FINALLY CARED!!! the CT was painful because of them having to move me... IT HURT HORRIBLY.. but it was something we had to do! thankfully it came back ok but then what? the on call doctor decided to just put me on three different antibiotics and crazy pain meds to see if that would cure the issues.. everything seemed to be getting better on sunday as i could walk a little and get my catheder removed! we all thought i had turned the corner and would be better in no time!

Monday my dad took the day off of work to spend it with me and help me with carter in the hospital while jus went home and got sleep for a while! it was such a relief to have my dad there and an advocate for me and my health while being so drugged up! Monday went pretty smoothly and we even got up for a walk on monday afternoon! It was time to go home.. even though i was still really swollen up down there! We got discharged around 9 pm monday night and my parents had dinner ready for us at our house when we got home! it still hurt to walk and move but i figured in the next few days it would become less painful and become easier to move and be helpful with carter! WAS I WRONG!!!!! That night was horrible, no sleep because of being propped up in bed, carter waking up needing to be fed and changed, and horrible pains in my groin area. around 7 am i started to have serious pain in my lower back and kidneys! i thought it was another part of recovery but after about an hour and the pain getting so intense i couldnt walk at all again i knew something wasnt right. Jus had to take carter to his first peditricians appointment so my dad had to leave a meeting at work to come and take me back to the hopsital. when my dad got to our house it took us 30 minutes from our room to the car in the drive way... not walking... shuffling my feet without a lot of success!

Once we got to the ER things started to get foggy again. THANKFULLY jus knew an ER doc and he was there that day working! we got right in and he already had orders ready for me for morphine and pain meds... it was such a blessing! they put the IV in.. missing a few times again.. WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT RIGHT? well eventually they got it placed and they did a bladder ultrasound... the nurse said in a very urgent voice, "we have to get a cath placed.." i didnt know what this meant exactly but later they told my dad that i had 1900 cc urine in my bladder when youre only suppose to have about 30 cc at a time.. the urine was backing up into my kidneys and other organs! they were worried that had spread another infection into my body but my bloodwork said i was in the clear on that problem! THANK GOD!!!! I was immediately admitted and was diagnosed with cellulitis (a skin infection) and treated with a heavy anitbiotic and pain meds! I was so bummed that i had to leave my family to readmit back into the hospital, but it had to be done for all everyone to get better. I tried to pump milk for carter while staying in the hopsital away from him, but it wasnt working and i had to think about myself getting better for his sake! He had also lost almost 2 pounds because my body wasnt producing enough milk to keep him full and happy! We knew then i had to give up my idealic dream of nursing and get him food that would help him grow and thrive.. IT WAS SUCH A BUMMER AND STILL IS... but it had to be done! :(

The second stay at the hospital was lonely.. i was there all day by myself and jus would bring carter by for a few hours before he went to work. HE WAS A SUPER DAD!!!! he did everything without complaining! my parents were also a very very very HUGE help! they took the night feedings while i was gone so jus could get enough sleep to last through the day doing it by himself! WE DONT KNOW WHAT WE WOULD HAVE DONE WITHOUT THEM!!!! slowly but surely i started to feel a little better and the swelling started to go down! I was finally released on Friday after almost 10 days!

Once i got home i felt like i had been punched in the face with a brick! i had no energy for anything.. a shower took so much out of me that i would lay down and be out for hours afterwards! Again, my parents, jus's mama and justin really stepped up and helped make it easier on me! I feel like this recovery was something i never would have expected.. it was unreal painful and ridiculously long... but our beautiful baby boy is worth every tear i have ever shed.. the sleepless nights i layed awake wondering what was even happening... we made it though, and thats all we will remember about this experience in the years to come.. WE MADE IT THROUGH!!!!

And Then There Was Carter

Carter Owen Mace was born December 7th, 2011... AND MAN IT WAS A RIDE!

We were scheduled to be induced at 7 am on that crazy wednesday morning. I had to call labor and delivery at 6 am to make sure they had enough room for my induction at that time. The night before i had this HORRIBLE feeling that it would get delayed. my entire family was reassuring me and saying that its really rare for that to happen. Jus, my mom, my dad, and I all went to dinner but our first choice was closed so we had to settle for ihop! it was our last dinner as just me and justin! I barely fit into the booth and it was horribly uncomfortable so we eventually had to ask the waitress to move to a table! haha.. i was HUGE to say the least!

That night we didnt sleep.. i mean WHO WOULD! we knew our baby was coming the next day! jus stayed up all night cleaning and preparing for his sons arrival while i layed in our bed and tried to get ANY amount of sleep that i could! the hours ticked down and at 5:55 am i grabbed my phone to make sure i had the number all dialed and ready for 6 am on the dot!!! i was nervous to call, only fearing that my assumptions would be correct. I hit send and the nurse in charge answered... AND THEY COULDNT TAKE ME! they made me call back at 8:00 am, 9:30 am, and then 10:30... IT WAS EXACTLY HOW I HAD IMAGINED IT GOING! all throughout my life i have never ever obtained the quality called PATIENCE... this would happen to me to try and teach me a lesson, but it wasnt going to stop me from getting our son into this world! i was irrate.. i even spiked my phone like a football into the ground when my ob called and said i might have to wait until the following monday to actually get induced! HOW CAN YOU TELL A PREGO LADY SHE WILL HAVE HER BABY ON A CERTAIN DAY AND THEN TELL HER IT PROBABLY WONT HAPPEN! i think anyone would have lost it at that point. Well i got a call back from labor and delivery around 11:15 am and said that i needed to hurry down to triage to get admitted before any other pregnant lady who was already in labor did! needless to say WE WERE BOOKING IT! my mom and justin didnt know what hit them after i got that phone call! we sped the entire drive down to st. lukes and got there in time to be admitted!

I was taken to room 2407 which happened to be the room my very good friend had delivered her son in less than a month ago! IT WAS FATE! well the nurse came in and informed me she had a intern student with her and asked if i minded if he placed my iv... WELL I DIDNT KNOW THIS INTERN NAMED RAJ WAS BRAND NEW AND TERRIBLE AT PLACING IV's... he missed 4 times and the nurse finally helped him place the 5th attempt in one of the worst places you could... ON MY HAND! dont you need those to hold your legs back when your pushing and such? it started very rocky... that should have been the first sign... hahaha well they finally got the iv placed and the pitocin started around 1:30 pm... The nurse checked me at that time and told me we were starting at a 4.5 cm dialated! WE WERE ALMOST HALFWAY!!! this was good news... the contractions werent very bad in the beginning.. i was like OMG I COULD TOTALLY DO THIS NATURALLY! i felt good enough to walk so we did a few laps around the floor and then the contractions started to really come! HOLY LORD THE PAIN WAS INCREDIBLY TERRIBLE!! i was in the jacuzzi when they got so bad that i couldnt handle it and i was very ready for the epidural.. THANK THE LORD I WAS ABLE TO GET IT RIGHT THEN! the epidural wasnt that bad... but it was the contractions and the shakes i was having while getting the epidural placed that made it uncomfortable!!!! once it was placed i could relax and enjoy the experience with my family! i was talking and laughing through the contractions which were lasting over a few minutes and were off the charts high! it was such a relief, LET ME TELL YOU! hahaha

After about a half an hour of constant contractions but very minimal pain my doctor came in and broke my water! i was at a solid 6 which was good progression but i was ready to get the show on the road! about 45 minutes after my water broke my nurse checked me again and WE WERE READY! she was shocked it happened so fast! she was sure she wasnt going to be there for delivery since her shift ended at 7 pm and she thought there was no way i was going to be ready by that time seeing as i was induced in the afternoon!! well... she was wrong! i was ready and so was carter! he was +2 engaged and not handling the birth canal very well! i maybe pushed 4-5 times and she was ready to call the doctor to come! well our doctor showed up and it was go time! i found it hard to know the feeling to push because i was numb everywhere below my boobs! i was asked to pull my legs back and push down.. i wanted my mom and jus to help hold my legs back but they werent really allowed.. so it was a funny ordeal to see me pushing and holding my dead weight legs at the same time! well carter was sitting under the pelvic bone and wasnt handling the pushing and contractions very well so our doctor decided she needed to use the vaccum to get him out sooner than later! the vaccum really helped and carter was out within 2 minutes! OMG WE DID IT :) he was soooo loud, so healthy... EVERYTHING WE COULD HAVE EVER HOPED FOR! he has all of his toes and fingers... we are BLESSED!!!!!! Jus was so overwhelmed with happiness and my mom was snapping as many pictures as she could for us... it was pure bliss! i had to get snipped a little bit because of our sons large head, so as i was getting stitched up jus was over with carter watching him get cleaned up and weighed! the labor and delivery all together took under 5 hours... I SHOULD HAVE TONS OF KIDS WITH HOW AMAZING THIS DELIVERY WENT RIGHT????? think again....

To The Two Men In My Life....

To my Husband,

Life with you has been something i dreamed of as a child. In my teenage years i would find myself imagining who and when i would get married and have babies. I'd wonder what my husband would look like, what kind of realtionship he'd have with my family, the life we would live together... where we would call home to how many babies we would bring into this beautiful world. I can honestly say that when i pictured my husband, i saw a figure but the features were blurry... now when i close my eyes and think about what i want in a husband i see you so clearly its remarkable... You give me so much strength in ways i never thought possible. You have been the biggest support system since the day we met.. you love me UNCONDITIONALLY.. and you always have a way to tell me how much i mean to you without saying anything!!! It could be a simple look or the way my hand fits in yours that makes home wherever you are!!! As we get closer to the day were blessed with meeting our beautiful son, i am so confident in the fact that you will be the absolute BEST FATHER IN THE WORLD... how do i know this? i see it all the time..

Carter and I are so very blessed to have such a beautiful human being in our lives.. you light up the room anywhere you go, and theres such a presense about you... I know i look up to you, the way you can give without EVER taking.. the amount of love you have for everyone in your life.. your ability to bring a smile to anyones face no matter the circumstances.. and lastly the true and meaningful relationships you create for yourself.. I truly look at you and know God is good.. I pray our son has your wit and your ability to spread so much joy without trying!!!!

I LOVE YOU JUSTIN STEPHEN MACE.. FOREVER.. and FOR ALWAYS!!!!





To my beautiful miracle,



A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for...

When i think of you, one word keeps popping into my head, MIRACLE.. you were created out of love, and with you, our ability to love is taken to a level i never knew was humanly possible. I constantly worry about your safety and your tucked away in my belly. Your movements give reassurement that only I can understand completely... I hear music about the love a parent has for their children and until you, i couldnt fathom a love existing at that level. You give me and your father everything, and you havent even taken your first breath yet. You must always know that your mommy loves you more than she can ever explain in words. God created you especially for us, and we cherish everything you are. In a few days we will meet for the first time, trust me when i tell you daddy and i have ran this moment through our heads for the last 10 months... Weve imagined your first cry, your beautiful eyes, if you have hair like daddy or if youre going to bald like mama, and how many peoples breathes youre going to take away from your sheer beauty... It may be a little scary coming into this world, but rest assured i wont let ANYTHING or ANYONE ever hurt you... Ill see you in four short days son, and from there, the future is ours!!!!

I love you to the moon and back.. ALWAYS..

Last Month Update!!!

As we get closer to baby carter's due date, we all get more and more anxious! We were so looking forward to going to the doctor every week to see the progression but holy moley i never expected 4 weeks to seem like a lifetime! at our 36 week appointment i was 1.5 cm dialated and 50% effaced which our doctor was really happy with! she said its a good starting point for delivering on time or a little early. Let me tell you.. WE WERE STOKED ABOUT THIS!!! Its been sooooo hard waiting and dealing with the extreme anticipation of meeting our lil munchkin! I know all first time parents would agree that wondering what and who your child looks like is something that crosses your mind multiple times each day! I know me and Justin have had multiple conversations about size and how labor will go!!! He SWORE that we were going to have a big boy, but i honestly thought he'd stay in the 7 lbs range.

Our 37 week appointment was a little different because our doctor was out of town for thanksgiving in southern california and we had to see another doctor in the office. I have ONLY had a female doctor since going to my gyno and my obgyn so the fact that he was a MALE was a little freaky. I was contemplating waiting an extra week to see my original doctor for my silly convience but the anticipation again was the driving factor of me agreeing to seeing a male. I wanted to know if i had progressed at all and if i was negative for my group b strep test! well to be honest, HE WAS INCREDIBLE! he made me and justin feel so comfortable even though hed never met us before and didnt have a personal relationship built with us! I was pleasantly surprised! he was an older male and his nurse was so sweet as well! he was willing to do a cervical check and i was now 2.5 cm dialated and 60% effaced! MORE PROGRESS!!! it was such a good gift that we had a chance to know before the long holiday weekend. We spent that whole weekend with my parents (my dad actually had hernia surgery wednesday afternoon so the fact that he was recovering made our thanksgiving really mellow which i was so happy about!) I did make a dumb decision and decided to attempt black friday shopping with my mama and hubby. We left on thanksgiving night at like 9:30 for walmart. BAD IDEA! people were acting a fool... to say the least! i saw fights over 10$ picture frames, 20$ microfiber stools, and 150$ xboxes... I WAS SHOCKED... i couldnt imagine hurdling others and being mean in order to get the best "deal"... which when we were leaving the store from frustration there were still piles of furniture and frames but people couldnt be patient and wait for others.. they had to have it RIGHT THEN... This lady actually took her cart to my 9 months belly.. lets just say we had a few words about the xmas spirit and how unreal she was acting over a picture frame... WHICH I WASNT EVEN WANTING!!!! Word to the wise... never take your prego hormones into a hot crowded black friday crowd... IT COULD LEAD TO MEAN WORDS AND FIST FIGHTS lol...

At our 38 week appointment i was MISERABLE! i had grown to the point where i have constant groin and sciatic pain. Our doctor did the usual exam and felt my tummy. She looked at me and justin and said "WOW! YOU ARE ALL BABY! HES A BIG BOY!!" i then asked her how much she thinks he weights and she was confident that he was over 8 lbs for sure. THIS WOULD EXPLAIN THE GROIN PAIN! hahaha... I had dialated to a solid 3 cm going on 4 and 75% effaced so we decided we would try a membrane sweep to see if my body was ready to deliver baby boo and then if that didnt work we would talk about inducing the following visit. Well let me tell you... SWEEPS HURT! i had to grin and wear the pain which seemed like it would never end! haha THIS MADE ME REALIZE AN EPIDURAL WAS NEEDED FOR LABOR!!! :) Our doctor was wrapping up the appointment when she realized she would only be in the office and able to deliver our baby next wednesday so we decided we would set my induction date for Wednesday, December 7th... and if baby made his apperance before then well all was good! :) We left JACKED!!! we couldnt believe that within a week we would be holding our baby boy for sure.. THERE WAS FINALLY A COUNTDOWN DATE THAT WAS COMPLETELY ACCURATE! it made all the anticipation so much more real!!!!

After we got home from my sweep we took a walk hoping it would kick in active labor contractions and we could have our baby THAT day! i had strong almost painful cramping and contractions but they eventually subsided around 3 pm and i was able to take a nap.. i had been told a sweep could take a few days to work though so i still had faith he could be coming soon! When i woke up from my nap around 4pm i used the restroom and my mucus plug was def coming out! it was nasty but SUCH a good sign he could come soon!! I decided to relax the rest of the night and see if my body was ready. Well my hopes were very dashed because NOTHING happened.. i slept that night and woke up without any contractions or pain! DANG!!!! But it was ok because he was def going to be here within the next week so we could be patient for ONE more week right!? youd think so but man i was ready! I WANTED TO FEEL THE PAIN OF LABOR.. I WAS SOOOO GEARED UP!

Its been 4 days now since my sweep so im fairly sure that it didnt work, which means baby wasnt ready! im so glad hes still in my belly and growing even stronger! i feel absolutely HUGE but i did find leggings that fit and i could wear them rather than SWEATS! it was a huge accomplishment! :) i didnt feel as frumpy!!! OH AND I GOT TO PULL OUT THE UGGS!!!!! gotta love december!!! We are patiently waiting his arrival but im fairly sure he will be stubborn and it will take me being induced for him to want to leave his warm tropical vacation in mamas belly! :) Both mine and justin's parents are SO excited they can barely stand it! It feels so good to have such support when me and justin are getting a little nervous for the entire responsibilty! Dont get me wrong, were soooooo ready.. but we realized that this is our LAST weekend without a baby and the ability to sleep in!! crazy since weve never had to be responsible for more than our year old puppy, but we couldnt have asked for a better blessing and gift..

This is one of the last prego pictures ill probably take! as you can see the leggings are WAY better than my husbands sweats!!!! :) and my favorite UGGS!!!! OHHHH YEA!!!

WISH US LUCK GUYS... 4 DAYS AND COUNTING!!!!!!!!